Mindblown: a blog about philosophy.
-
Breaking: DeNiro Omitted as an Oscar Presenter: “His Angry Speeches Are Unwelcome”
In a shocking turn of events that left Hollywood in a state of perplexed pandemonium, the esteemed DeNiro found himself ousted from the prestigious role of Oscar presenter. The reason? It seems his passionate oratories, characterized by a touch of wrath, have been deemed as welcome as a porcupine at a balloon party. As the…
-
Declined: ABC Won’t Renew Whoopi Goldberg’s Contract – ” It’s Time She Moves On”
According to an exclusive report from The Dunning Kruger Times, Whoopi Goldberg is at the end of her run with The View: They didn’t fire her. They didn’t cancel her. They didn’t even cancel her show. What ABC did instead, to deal with its neverending Whoopi Goldberg problem, was to simply decline to re-sign her…
-
Breaking: Riley Gaines Did The Impossible She Beated Lia Thomas In Olympic Qualifier
In an astonishing turn of events, Riley Gaines achieved the seemingly impossible by outswimming Lia Thomas in the Olympic qualifier. The world collectively gasped as Gaines, armed with nothing but determination and perhaps a secret stash of caffeine, managed to beat Thomas, who is basically a mermaid with a speed boost. As Gaines approached the…
-
Breaking: Mike McCarthy Imposes $500K Fines For Anthem Kneeling: “Strike Them Where It Hurts”
In a dazzling display of creativity, Mike McCarthy, the maestro of finesse in the world of football discipline, has introduced fines amounting to a whopping $500,000 for players caught engaging in the rebellious act of anthem kneeling. Dubbing it as a strategic move to “hit them where it hurts,” McCarthy seems to have taken a…
-
Breaking: Lifetime Ban Issued by International Olympic Committee for Lia Thomas
In an astonishing move that left spectators questioning whether they had stumbled into a parallel universe where logic took a sabbatical, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has generously bestowed a lifetime ban upon Lia Thomas. The committee, known for its ability to make decisions as cohesive as a herd of cats in a laser pointer…
-
Breaking: George Strait Breaks His Silence on Garth Brooks: “Not Among Us”
In a surprising turn of events, country music legend George Strait has finally decided to open up about his thoughts on fellow artist Garth Brooks. The headline-making revelation, “Not Among Us,” echoes Strait’s sentiments as he delves into the nuances of his perspective on Brooks within the country music community. Strait, known for his stoic…
-
Garth Brooks Breaks Down Onstage in Oklahoma: “They Wouldn’t Cease Booing”
Country music icon Garth Brooks faced a poignant moment during a recent performance in Oklahoma as emotions overwhelmed him amidst persistent booing from the audience. The acclaimed artist, known for his captivating stage presence and heartfelt performances, found himself grappling with an unexpected wave of negativity. As the crowd’s disapproval echoed through the venue, Brooks,…
-
Megan Rapinoe excluded from Pro Soccer Hall of Fame: “She’s an Inadequate Role Model!”
In an unexpected turn of events, Megan Rapinoe has been “disqualified” from the Pro Soccer Hall of Fame, and the reason? Brace yourselves – she’s been deemed a “Terrible Role Mode!” Yes, you read that right. Apparently, kicking goals and inspiring millions on and off the field just doesn’t cut it in the prestigious Hall…
-
Breaking: Bill Maher Dismisses Whoopi Goldberg From His Show: “You Need Professional Help”
In a stunning display of comedic acrobatics, Bill Maher, the maestro of wit, gave Whoopi Goldberg an impromptu ticket to the laughter rollercoaster on his show. Maher, wielding his humor sword, playfully jested, “Whoopi, it’s not you, it’s me needing professional help for dealing with your unparalleled comedic brilliance.” As Whoopi teetered on the edge…
-
Breaking: Coach Prime Benched 3 Resolute Anthem Protesters On The Spot
In the whimsical realm of sports drama, Coach Prime found himself faced with the perplexing challenge of benching three persistently defiant anthem kneelers. As the melodramatic scene unfolded, it was as if the very fabric of the sporting universe was woven with threads of irony and absurdity. Coach Prime, known for his strategic prowess and…
Got any book recommendations?